What makes life worth living

The really amazing thing about life is that every person is having the exact experience they need to learn and grow in the way God wants them to. What's amazing about it is that we are so inter-connected with each other's experience, and yet, everything that happens is for a reason and it's for our learning and progression. I'm having some really difficult learning experiences at the moment, and what I'm going through is having an effect on my mom and her experience. It affects my children, friends, even the cashier at the grocery store can be impacted by interacting with me. Every interaction is important. Life is indescribably, transcendentally HARD. Gaining experience is painful. There's no way around that. The experience we gain from living it is worth more than anything. Which is why we are on Earth.

I've decided to compile a list of reasons to live, hoping it will help me to have something to turn to when suicidal thoughts arise. I thought I'd share it with you. Feel free to comment about the highlights of your life.

The taste of a fresh, warm sun ripened Oregon strawberries that was picked seconds ago.
The sound of baby giggles.
The rolling of green and blue hills as I bike past on a mountain bike.
The delicious, sweet smell of a warm breeze in June.
The feeling of Ammon's tiny hand softly clutching mine as we sit close together.
Having kids fall asleep on my chest as I sing to them.
The look on my child's face when I do something that delights them.
The chamomile-honey smell of a baby's cheeks.
The color of and sensation of touching a rose petal.
The brimming joy, exhilaration, and satisfaction of accompanying a choir or congregation well.
The look on people's faces when a song I sing touches them deeply.
The feeling of purpose that comes as a result of being needed by a friend.
The warm feelings and excitement of Christmas Eve.

Here's from yesterday:

The highlight of my day was singing "Snuggle Puppy" to Ammon. Before we got into bed he asked to wear his puppy jammies and exclaimed "puppies are awesome!" and did some happy barking. Then he showed me his hands and said "look, I have puppy paws" and stuck out his tongue and said "I licked." We snuggled and he said "I love you, momma. You're my friend" over and over. He even told me "you're awesome." It was very sweet. That was the highlight of my low life for today.