Ruby's Birth Story

Ruby helped me write this post. Here she is being my big helper:

Wednesday evening (Feb 6) a friend watched the boys while I tried out a local chocolate shop and got my first ever pedicure. I had heard that getting a pedicure can make labor start so I figured it was worth a shot! It was one day past my due date. I had really thought Ruby would come in January, but I was wrong. It took a big mindset change to be okay with being pregnant in February and past my due date. It felt like I had been in early labor off and on since Friday and I was expecting active labor to start any hour. I was timing contractions in the evening and waking up to find no activity.

40 weeks

Thursday my mom, the boys, and I picked up my grandma and went for a hike at Bald Hill. It was an attempt to get labor started. We walked for about 40 minutes and then headed to the birth center for a prenatal appointment. Ruby seemed to be doing great, as usual. We discussed what to do if she went more than a week past her due date. I'd had a silly idea that this pregnancy is all a conspiracy. There was no baby, it was just a ploy to get me and my friends to buy a bunch of baby stuff.
On our way out the door Ammon said "I'm a baby." I told him he was a little boy now. He replied: "No, I'm a baby. I want to be Ruby."

We went home and I had a few strong contractions throughout the evening but they were very far apart. There seemed to be little to no labor activity so I texted my mom to let her know nothing was going on this evening and that I would see her at play group the next day. During my evening prayer I asked that she could be born tonight if it was the Lord's will. Then I went to bed a little after 10 PM. As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I talked to the baby, expressing my desire for her to arrive soon and the family's excitement to welcome her into our home. I repeated in my mind this mantra from a book about mindful birthing: "may you be safe and protected. May you be healthy in body and mind. May you be happy. May you live in peace and calm." I made up other ones as I fell asleep, feeling close and connected to my baby.

At 12:45 AM I woke up in active labor. I came downstairs to find Michael still awake playing video games (which did not make me happy). I timed and worked through the contractions as I knelt by the couch. It helped to count my breaths through the contractions, knowing that they would stop before 20. I tried to think of it as an "expansion" instead of a contraction. It's true that the uterus contracts, but at the same time the uterus is expanding. I gripped the couch cushions as I rubbed my face into the fabric.  After about 20 minutes of data it was clear that we should get going in the direction of the birth center. I called the midwife to let her know and then called my mom to have her come over and watch my boys. No answer. I called my dad. No answer. That was scary, but my dad called me back a few minutes later and they were on their way. Michael scrambled to gather a few last minute items and we were on our way! It was extremely cold. About 28 degrees I think. Luckily there was no precipitation and the roads were clear. Michael noticed his car was almost out of gas and asked if he could stop at a gas station on the way. The contractions were so intense I could hardly talk.There was no way I was going to labor in the car a minute longer than I absolutely had to. We listened to Coldplay and whenever I had a contraction the connection between the phone and the car got fuzzy and crackly. Almost as if the electric intensity of my contractions was causing interference. I squeezed his hand during contractions as he drove steadily and carefully.

We pulled into the parking lot at about 2:30 AM. I hurried in and sank my face and arms into the cushion of a waiting room chair as a contraction began surging through me. One of the midwives, Susan, came and leaned on the arm of the chair. I reached up and took her hand. She was exactly what I needed at that moment. We made our way towards the room I had chosen, a cheerful room with yellow walls and sturdy wood furniture. They had filled the birth tub for me and I got in after a few contractions. I didn't stay in long. I kept feeling like I needed to use the bathroom. I ended up spending a good part of my labor at the birth center in the bathroom, clinging on the bars in the walls or on my hands and knees on the floor.

During transition I started to wail "OH NO!" at the peak of the contractions. "I can't do this" "I don't think the baby will be able to come out." The contractions were slamming into my pelvis one after another as the intervals in between seemed to be drying up. I leaned against the bed and tugged on the sheets as tried to quiet the fear that I was about to die. I had nearly pulled the sheets from the end of the bed where they had been tucked in when Michael moved to the other side of the bed and offered his hands for me to pull on. It was exactly what I needed! A huge surge of love bubbled up from my heart and I weakly whispered "I love you." I don't think I had ever said it with more meaning and feeling before.
I felt the urge to push but my water still hadn't broken. I kept thinking that, when I was able to talk again during the brief pause between contractions, I would ask Susan to break my water. But a few minutes later an enormous water balloon burst between my legs and yellowish liquid splattered onto the towel on the floor beneath me. Then I really felt the urge to push. I shied away for a brief moment, but latched on to the thought that once the baby was out, the contractions would stop. During the next contraction I bore down and could feel her head emerging. I reached down and touched the crown of her head. It felt too soft and squishy to be a human head, but I could feel the fuzziness of some hair. The sensations were quite intense at that moment and I couldn't wait any longer for the experience to end. I pushed the rest of her out and soon I was standing there holding my infant daughter to my chest. She cried softly for a moment but was very calm. I couldn't move, I just kept repeating: "Ruby! Oh, Ruby" as I held her close and felt her wet skin against mine. Susan tried to gently help me into bed but I was so stunned I had to stand there, hunched over holding my baby for a few minutes before I could figure out how to get in bed. It was a bit tricky because we were still attached by the umbilical cord. I held her in the crook of my arm and stared at her beautiful features.

She loves her hands!

She turned out so perfect! She was so calm!!! We could hardly believe how quiet and sweet she was. Her head was perfectly round from the fast delivery. Apparently she came out with one of her arms next to her head, but my perineum stayed intact this time! It was so nice to not need stitches right after giving birth. Michael cut the cord and I requested Pitocin to help deliver the placenta.. After I had Quin I had an extremely difficult time delivering the placenta. The midwife had tried to get me to take it but I refused because I wanted the birth to be completely natural. I wish I would have taken it because I lost consciousness twice, probably from all the  blood I lost. I had Pitocin for the placenta with Ammon and it still was difficult to deliver. I was wiser this time and used the drugs I needed! It still took a little while to get it out and was pretty uncomfortable.

Each of my kids has had a special Primary song that I choose for them before the birth. Quin's was "I Will Follow God's Plan" Ammon's was "I Know That My Savior Loves Me"/"Teach Me to Walk in the Light" and Ruby's special song was "My Heavenly Father Loves Me." I sang it to her after we were all cleaned up and comfortably snuggled together.

I was apprehensive when she showed the first signs of wanting to nurse. After Quin's birth I spent a very frustrating hour trying to get him to latch and worried out of my mind that I wouldn't be able to nurse him. When Ammon was born I felt pretty confident in my ability to nurse a baby (I made it to 18 months with Quin after all). I was really disappointed by how difficult it was to get him latched on. In fact, I wondered if it would even work. But with Ruby, it was incredible. She started rooting around and as soon as I brought her to the breast she latched on perfectly. The cramps that accompanied it were also incredible, but not in a good way. After lots of time to bond and have Michael hold her skin to skin, we asked if we could weigh her. She came it at 7lbs 14oz, 18.75 inches. Petite but sturdily built. My mom says she has Quin's eyes and Ammon's mouth. I think she just looks like the baby version of me. She has a defined widow's peak like I do. She also has long fingers and even has my toes, with one big fat big toe and four long skinny ones on each foot!

My mom held her for a few hours while Michael and I got some sleep. My grandma came to visit while we were sleeping. Ruby is named after her mom, my great-grandmother. I never met her but I've always felt a strong connection to her. She is the first ancestor I can remember learning about. I have a dress that belonged to her and I love wearing it.

My dad brought Quin and Ammon to meet their new sister. Quin was so in love. He came over to me and exclaimed "I love that baby Ruby is out of your tummy!" I love that too. Then he noticed my stretched out stomach and said "Oh look! There's another baby in there!" Nope, just maternal fat stores.

He was very sweet and gentle with her and fell in love. He saw me pat her back to burp her and scolded me: "You have to be SO gentle with her."

First family photo. Ammon was waving at Ruby.

Great grandma came for a second visit

Ammon was crazy go nuts. When he noticed her he exclaimed "baby Ruby is naked! I want to be naked." So we let him take his clothes off and run around.

We left the birth center at 1:30 PM. Debbie, the midwife who was taking care of us post-partum, seemed eager for us to get home. A lot of people have been surprised that we got to go home 10 hours after the delivery. There were no complications, no IV or epidural, and even though I was GBS positive, Ruby was clearly eating well and thriving. The only concern was a slightly low temperature.

My parents took care of the boys until the evening. I was relieved that they went to bed without a fuss and didn't wake up during the night.

Quin read her a kids book about human anatomy. It was so cute! He kept saying "So, Ruby" trying to get her attention. He explained how the "worms" swim to the egg and then it turns into two balls (cells), then four balls, then lots of  balls. At the page where it talks about hair we talked about what color and characteristics Ruby's hair has as well as Quin, grandma Dodge, and my hair. Then I asked "what kind of hair does Ammon have?" Without skipping a beat Ammon replied "cheetas."

Ammon had an ear infection two weeks before Ruby was born. He was getting up in the middle of the night to cry or snuggle in bed with us. I was worried about what would happen when we had a newborn and a toddler who felt like he needed midnight snuggles. It's been okay so far though. Michael sometimes lays down on the floor in the boys room next to Ammon's bed to help him fall asleep. Michael usually falls asleep too and sleeps on the floor for a few hours (or the whole night).

Ammon had a nightmare last night and woke up shivering and wailing. Apparently it was about scary ghost-es. After calming him down and assuring him that he was safe, I told him that Quin was really good at fighting ghosts and Quin would keep him safe. He snuggled with me in bed for a few minutes and then I asked "do you want to sleep here or next to Quin?" He wanted to sleep by his strong, brave big brother who could fight the scary ghost-es.

Sunday, two days after Ruby was born, we got a few inches of snow (the most we've gotten all year). It was very exciting! My mom came over and helped the boys build a snow momma and snow baby while the real ones rested in the warm house.

My mom has taken the boys on lots of outings. She has been taking Ammon to the store while Quin is at preschool and both boys to music makers, the library, and a weekly play group at the church. I appreciate her help so much. Recently they went to the Toy Factory so the kids could play and Great Grandma could shop for new toys for the great grand kids to play with at her new house.

The boys saw me taking lots of pictures of Ruby and they wanted to join in the fun.

I've been trying to make sure I spend quality time with the boys too. I do hold and nurse Ruby a lot, but I'm trying to be aware of their needs for attention and love. We've been reading lots of books, playing with puzzles, and the boys have been having way too much screen time. Oh well. Everyone is safe and healthy.

Ammon's favorite books are: Pete the Cat,  Go Dog Go, and the Grumpy Dump Truck.
We have been listening to lots of music lately too. Ammon loves Pentatonix, Imagine Dragons, and Raffi. One of his favorite songs is the Pentatonix version of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy." We were delighted to find that the baby swing has that song on it! Yesterday they spent about 45 minutes dancing, spinning, and running around while we listened to it on repeat. Quin has some pretty awesome robot dance moves.

With an upside down W we can spell all the kids names with one alphabet!

Back to Ruby. I can't get enough of her little head and cheeks! She has received about 5,000 kisses on the top of her head from me and daddy. Her hair and skin are so soft and smell divine. Having a baby rest their head on your chest is the best feeling in the world.

I have really enjoyed listening to and singing love songs to Ruby. When she is in a quiet alert phase she will gaze up at my face as I sing to her.  Some of the songs I have been singing are, "Can't Help Falling in Love," "Perfect," and "All of Me." I've also been singing some primary songs to her such as "Give Said the Little Stream," "I Know that my Savior Loves Me," and "Teach Me to Walk in the Light." When singing "Perfect" I change the words to "darling just hold my hand, be my girl I'll be your mom. I see the future in your eyes." I love the part where it says "I have faith in what I see. I know that I have met an angel in person. She looks perfect tonight." That's how I feel about my sweep baby girl. She has blessed our family so much just by being here. She's an angel.

Big yawn

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